Let's talk about the problem with hypnobirthing

As an antenatal and postnatal practitioner, I have worked with and spoken to so many mums who feel let down by the promise of no pain and an easy birth.

I know there are some brilliant hypnobirthing practitioners out there, with experience of birth who are preparing parents well but there’s also some who could unintentionally be doing harm with unrealistic expectations. The ability to use your breathing to head off panic is powerful, I’ve done it and I’ve seen it work wonders but, in my opinion, it should never come with the promise of a pain-free and straight-forward birth.

As a practitioner, I believe in honest, practical straight-talking, so I talk about managing pain, energy and panic, along with what can help during labour and what strategies can be effective if needs change.

The hypnobirthing movement has moved beyond hypnotherapy techniques and has claimed knowledge that has been shared in antenatal classes for many decades, because it is simply about how birth works.

As a journalist and sub-editor in the 90s, I found myself working on different pregnancy magazines: in the UK, Sheila Kitzinger was the Queen of birth knowledge, along with Janet Balaskas and the Active Birth movement. Both focused on an alternative to the medicalisation of labour and birth by encouraging women to move, breathe and to work with their bodies.

My approach to childbirth has always been about being better prepared for the unpredictability of childbirth with an emphasis on realistic expectations: I don’t want parents going into labour expecting to be able to choose an epidural when they want one because there are different considerations (progress of labour, the pace of contractions and availability of an anaesthetist). Equally, I don’t want any parent to go into labour thinking that epidurals or caesareans are a sign of failure: these can be choices or necessities and they need to be a part of the labour and birth conversation.

The main issue I have with hypnobirthing is based on the comments from many mums who can feel let down when labour is painful, when it is tougher than they ever imagined and medical interventions are needed. For some parents it may over-promise and just not be flexible enough.

I once had a client come to see me for a birth debrief, she had been holding on to some grief after the birth of her first baby because she was induced, so it was intense, painful and not the relaxing birth she had prepared for. Her hypnobirthing teacher told her she must have done it wrong. And that was that. This mum cried with relief when we talked about how tough an induced labour can be, when a baby might not quite be ready, when the environment is challenging and options are altered.

I have given birth three times and all have been unique, with different challenges for me to work through. As a practitioner, it also became important for me to attend births, not just to support parents but to better understand the demands of labour and birth. My 15 years as a birth doula - attending home and hospital births - has provided me with an incredible insight into the common themes, the individuality of birth and the power of women.

The births I have experienced have ranged from fast & furious to the slow labours where babies have needed more time. For some mums, a caesarean was needed and for a couple of others, the babies arrived before the midwives.

I have seen the difference it makes to listen to women, to meet their needs and to make them feel safe, to make the birth space calm and quiet. I have supported parents when a baby’s heart rates is struggling and a caesarean becomes the right next step. I’ve seen many babies be born, parents made and so much love in the room.

I bloody love birth, I love its uniqueness, it’s power and its unpredictability. I love that no two labours are the same and that women can need different things.

Labour and birth is imperfect, no-one knows how many contractions someone will have, or what the pace of labour will be or where the challenges will lie.

It can be painful, exhausting, exhilarating , challenging, calm, frantic, long, fast, straight-forward, complex: this is all normal and parents need more rounded knowledge and skills.

I encourage expectant parents to think about some of the what-ifs so they can think through their options: what if labour is long? What might they need to feel safe, supported, comfortable and able? What decisions might they need to make?
And what if labour is short? What might they need and how might options change?

Experience has shown me that labour and birth can challenge us in ways we didn’t expect so it makes sense to me to prepare beyond your ideal birth, so you are better equipped for challenges and changes. Even in straightforward births, women can be shocked by the overwhelming power of their bodies.

No birth preparation can completely prepare anyone for what they are about to experience but there is a place for discussing what it can look and feel like and that you may be able to make decisions as you go.

So, please do include breathing skills in your preparation to help keep you calm and manage any panic or overwhelm. And these skills may well come from great hypnobirthing resources, but this is just one component of birth preparation.

And just a final word about using your breathing: it’s helpful if you connect with how you breathe and how it feels to slow it down and let go of any tension, rather than learning a new breathing techniques. Keep it simple so you can use these skills as you need them.

Speak soon

Janine

You can also join me every Monday at 7pm for a birth & baby session: you can join in with questions or just watch and take in the information.

I’d love your thoughts, comments and questions.